Anniversary Present
#1

:withstupid::withstupid:

 

THE ANNIVERSARY PRESENT

 

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I found the perfect anniversary gift for my daughter who works nights . A pocket/purse sized 100,000 volt tazer, I thought this should make her fell safer. So back at home sitting in my recliner, I read the instructions. It only takes 2 AAA bateries, how can that make 100,000 volts. The instuctions say a one-second busrt would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control: a three-second burst would make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish. COOL

 

So this thing is only 5"long and 3/4" around can it realy be that bad? I held it up pressed the button, nothing. Great, it dosen't work. Maybe if I try it on my thigh, a one-second burst can't be that bad. So I pushed the prongs to my thigh and pressed the button and......

 

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION...WHAT THE HELL

 

I'm pretty sure some one ran in picked up the recliner and body slamed us over, and over and over. I woke up on my side, tears in my eyes. soaking wet, both nipples on fire and testicles nowhere to be found.

 

Note: If you ever feel compelled to try a tazer there is no such thing as a one-second burst. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by flopping around on the floor.

 

IT HURT LIKE HELL

The reliner was upside down and 8' from where it started from. My tricepts, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it was full of novacain and I couldn't stop drooling. There was a faint cloud above my head which I belive came from my hair, and the cat wouldn't come down from the fire place mantle all night.

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