British "brains" - contestants
#1

Thanks to Moose for providing these. I laughed so hard at the first one, I haven't even had time to read the rest...

 

BRAINS OF BRITAIN

 

 

 

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

 

 

Jeremy Paxman:

 

 

What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Homosexuals..

 

Jeremy Paxman:

 

 

No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

 

 

 

 

 

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

 

 

Jamie Theakston:

 

 

Where do you think Cambridge University is?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Geography isn't my strong point.

 

Jamie Theakston:

 

 

There's a clue in the title.

 

Contestant:

 

 

Leicester

 

 

 

 

 

BBC NORFOLK

 

Stewart White:

 

 

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

 

Contestant:

 

 

I don't know.

 

Stewart White:

 

 

I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Arm

 

Stewart White:

 

 

Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Strong.

 

Stewart White:

 

 

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Louis

 

Stewart White:

 

 

Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Frank Sinatra?

 

 

 

 

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

 

Alex Trelinski:

 

 

What is the capital of Italy ?

 

Contestant:

 

 

France .

 

Trelinski:

 

 

France is another country. Try again.

 

Contestant:

 

 

Oh, um, Benidorm.

 

Trelinski:

 

 

Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Sorry, I don't know.

 

Trelinski:

 

 

Just guess a country then.

 

Contestant:

 

 

Paris .

 

 

 

 

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

 

Anne Robinson:

 

 

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

 

Contestant:

 

 

The Conservative Party.

 

 

 

 

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

 

 

DJ Mark:

 

 

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

 

Ruth from Rowley Regis:

 

 

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

 

 

 

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

 

 

Bamber Gascoyne:

 

 

What was Gandhi's first name?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Goosey?

 

 

 

 

GWR FM ( Bristol )

 

 

Presenter:

 

 

What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

 

Contestant:

 

 

I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

 

 

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER )

 

Phil:

 

 

What's 11 squared?

 

Contestant:

 

 

I don't know.

 

Phil:

 

 

I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

 

Contestant:

 

 

Is it five?

 

 

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

 

Richard:

 

 

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Forrest Gump.

 

 

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

 

Richard:

 

 

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Er. ... ...

 

Richard:

 

 

He makes bread . . .

 

Contestant:

 

 

Er .. .......

 

Richard:

 

 

He makes cakes . . .

 

Contestant:

 

 

Kipling Street ?

 

 

 

 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

 

 

Presenter:

 

 

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Barcelona .

 

Presenter:

 

 

I was really after the name of a country.

 

Contestant:

 

 

I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ..

 

 

 

 

 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

 

 

 

Question:

 

 

What is the world's largest continent?

 

Contestant:

 

 

The Pacific..

 

 

 

 

 

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

 

 

 

Presenter:

 

 

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

 

Contestant:

 

 

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

 

 

 

 

 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

 

 

 

Steve Le Fevre:

 

 

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Magna Carta?

 

 

 

 

 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

 

 

 

James O'Brien:

 

 

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .. ER. ER ... Three?

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

 

 

 

Chris Searle:

 

 

In which European country is Mount Etna ?

 

Caller:

 

 

Japan .

 

Chris Searle:

 

 

I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

 

Caller:

 

 

Er ........... Mexico ?

 

 

 

 

 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

 

 

 

Paul Wappat:

 

 

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

 

Contestant (long pause):

 

 

Fourteen days.

 

 

 

 

 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

 

 

 

Daryl Denham:

 

 

In which country would you spend shekels?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Holland ?

 

Daryl Denham:

 

 

Try the next letter of the alphabet..

 

Contestant:

 

 

Iceland ? Ireland ?

 

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

 

 

It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

 

Contestant:

 

 

No.

 

 

 

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

 

 

 

Phil Wood:

 

 

What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Er... ..... ..

 

Phil Wood:

 

 

It's got two syllables . . . Kor .

 

Contestant:

 

 

Blimey?

 

Phil Wood:

 

 

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .

 

Contestant:

 

 

(Silence)

 

Phil Wood:

 

 

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . ..

 

Contestant:

 

 

Walked?

 

 

 

 

 

THE VAULT

 

 

 

Melanie Sykes:

 

 

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Nostalgia.

 

 

 

 

 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

 

 

 

Presenter:

 

 

What religion was Guy Fawkes?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Jewish.

 

Presenter:

 

 

That's close enough.

 

 

 

 

 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

 

 

 

Wright:

 

 

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day.. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

 

Contestant:

 

 

Jesus.

 

Marion J Chard
Proud Daughter of Walter (Monday) Poniedzialek
540th Engineer Combat Regiment, 2833rd Bn, H&S Co, 4th Platoon
There's "No Bridge Too Far"
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