ONE-LINERS:

• A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.

• Any system which relies on human reliability is unreliable.

• Doing it the hard way is always easier.

• Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

• The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

• Inside every small problem is a larger problem struggling to get out.

• I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?

• Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

• You get the most of what you need the least.

• Leakproof thermoses -- will.

• The most heavily traveled streets spend the most time under construction.

• Good enough never is.

• Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

• Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

• You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

• You! Off my planet!

• Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

• Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

• Bottomless pit of needs & wants.

• Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Bottomless pit of needs & wants.

Whoever wrote this, must have been to my house.

Great one liners Art !

Your one liners are great.....Try these.

Truths adults have learned

1 Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jell-o to a tree.

2 If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

Truths children have learned

1 No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2 When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

And my personal favorite.....

Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.

Parker