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When chemists die, they barium.


Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.


How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.


I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.


They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.


PMS jokes aren't funny; period.


Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.


We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's

no pop quiz.


I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she

couldn't control her pupils?


When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.


Broken pencils are pointless.


I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.


What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.


England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.


I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The

police have nothing to go on.


I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


Haunted French pancakes give me the cr�pes.


Velcro - what a rip off!


A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.


Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!